American Idol: Top 12 Guys, Week 1 Recap

Here's my critique of the Top 12 Guys tonight, in the order they appeared on the show:

Rudy Cardenas: Eh, not bad, but not good, either. And, wearing a shirt with a target on the front is kinda asking for it, dude.

Brandon Rogers: I thought he did a good job performing the song, and he's cute. I did spy a teensy bit of the Constantine Maroulis smolder-at-the-camera towards the end. Ick!

Sundance Head: Sounded sharp the whole way through. This guy hasn't given a good performance since his first audition. Why is he still here? Buh-bye!

Paul Kim: The barefoot thing is so exceedingly stupid. THAT's your "hook"? Ugh. It would have helped if you hadn't sung the first and last 30 seconds of your song in a voice that only dogs can hear. And yet, Randy still sees "a lot promise" in him? WTF?? Even Paula could tell he was pitchy.

Chris Richardson: One of the best so far. Loved seeing his dad do the "white guy rhythm" dance in the audience. Wish he'd grow his hair out a bit more...if he wants to be the next Justin, he's gotta ditch the shaved-Britney look.

Nick Pedro: I fell asleep twice during his performance. Not a good sign.

Blake Lewis: Beat box guy. Wow, he can actually sing! Now if only he'd ditch the "Something About Mary" bangs, this kid could go places. Nice job.

Sanjaya Malakar: Started out a little boring, but I thought it got better as the song went on. I hope he gets through to the top 6 guys, if for no other reason than we can see what they do with his hair during Clairol Makeover Week.

Chris Sligh: I love this guy. Not only can he sing the heck out of any song, but so far, he's shown more personality in his pinky finger than the other 11 guys put together. If only he didn't look so much like Jack Osborne's before picture. It freaks me out a little.

ooh boy, and did he get in a really good jab at Simon re: Teletubbies and Il Divo. Excellent! Just for that, I'm actually going to pick up the phone tonight and vote.

Jared Cotter: A little bland. Was it me, or was all that finger counting reminiscent of Justin Timberlake's "D*** in a Box" SNL number? (Step 1: Cut a hole in a box....)

A.J. Tabaldo: He was energetic and sounded okay, but--like most of the guys this season--he does absolutely nothing for me. None of these guys seem to have an edge that sets them apart. They're interchangeable at this point.

Phil Stacey: The bald guy with the big ears who missed his daughter's birth. Started out a little flat and shaky, but kicked it up for the bridge and finished strong. His wife in the audience was rocking some new highlights, and looked darn good (and well rested) for a new mom! Smarmy Ryan stole my line about the "Britney look." Ugh.

Note to the American Idol "Powers That Be": The whole Ryan/Simon petty feud thing is getting old. They really need to come up with some other form of drama to punch up the show. Suggestion: start by not keeping such a close eye on what's in Paula's little red Coke cup...it was more fun when she made no sense.

Looking forward to critiquing the girls tomorrow!