Sunday, March 13, 2022

Unearthing Pantry Artifacts

 A couple of years ago, a friend of a friend was looking to make some extra money, so I hired him to do a few odd jobs around the house. One of the projects he worked on was going through my kitchen cabinets and throwing out all of the expired stuff.  I don't recall what the most expired item was at the time, but I do remember being mortified at just how ancient some things were. 

At some point, he got busy with a different project, and there were a couple of cabinets he didn't get to finish, including the one where I store coffee and tea. 

This particular cabinet is one of the upper corner cabinets, so most of the shelves are way above my head, and out of my reach without the assistance of a step ladder.  It's also a deep cabinet, which means things that get pushed to the back have a tendency to ... languish. 

Here, I present to you the three most expired items I found in this cabinet: 

Are you ready for their expiration dates? Prepare to be horrified.

The sealed, never-opened box of Wedgewood Tea has a Best Before date of April 30, 2008--nearly 14 years ago. I think we bought it as a souvenir when we did a British Isles cruise in the Summer of 2007.

The Maxwell House instant coffee says Best When Used By October 19, 2007. At that time, George W. Bush was still the President of the United States, the #1 song in the U.S. was "Crank That" by Soulja Boy, and a new gadget known as an "iPhone" had just hit the market 4 months prior.

But the winner of Oldest Pantry Item goes to the lovely can of Illy espresso coffee, which expired back in April, 2006.  My youngest child, who recently graduated college and moved into her own apartment, was still in Kindergarten when this coffee went past its freshness date. Steve Irwin, aka The Crocodile Hunter, was still alive. On the music scene, Shakira's hips didn't lie, Kanye rapped about gold diggers, and Daniel Powter became famous for having a bad day.

Consider this a friendly reminder: clean out your cabinets, people. And when you do, let me know the oldest thing you find.

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